"On Longing"

"Nostalgia cannot be sustained without loss."

Last month I lost my childhood dog. He was my friend and my companion for a long time, and it wasn't until moving away for college that I realized how big of a role he played in my life. And now, as a senior in college, he has moved on from this life. There is a lasting nostalgia from his presence, especially now that he has no physical presence. 

"Capacity of objects to serve as traces of authentic experience."

My mom bought me a film camera for my 21st birthday, along with some film to use for it. Film is very expensive, so I've been picky as to what I decide to photograph with it. It allows me to have an object that not only represents an event or experience, but literally shows a segment of it. I love digital photography, but being able to actually hold the photograph in your hand gives a different sense of personal belonging. 

"To have a souvenir of the exotic is to possess both a specimen and a trophy."

This is ammonite, which comes from an extinct marine creature that is classified as a cephalopod. I take care of my fossils and minerals like both trophies and specimens. Both their physical and metaphysical properties interest me, but they are displayed more like trophies: resting on the corner of my shelf, having their own specific place in both my life and my actual room. 

"The body is the primary mode of perceiving scale."

I took this photo of my good friend and neighbor at the time during Hurricane Matthew. We had both decided to stay in St Augustine and I convinced him and his roommates to stay with me (since I was on a second floor, unable to get flooded). The yellow apartment was their apartment, which was clearly flooded. As the water began to build up he decided to actually go outside into it, and it wasn't until we saw the water line in comparison to his 6'2" frame (mind you, it got even higher than this!) that we knew just how bad the flooding was. 

"The souvenir reduces the public, the monumental, and the three-dimensional into the miniature, that which can be enveloped by the body."

The quote first made me think of going away on vacation and coming back with magnets and key-chains that say where you just visited...however, I feel like the most important souvenirs are the ones closest to your personal experience, like something representative of a best friend, a lover, or life itself. I love this mug, because it is a "souvenir" of my partner's existence. It's a picture of him when he was just a baby, a time none of us as human beings are able to remember and grasp (there is irony in this, as a mug is something you CAN grasp).